It’s widely accepted that talking openly about money is key to financial freedom, yet 62% of Americans don’t. To help couples feel less awkward and more aligned, we’re sharing low-pressure ways to talk about essential money topics—including real-life ice breakers from our Monarch Team.

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We’re not exaggerating: Agreeing to start talking about money is a milestone for couples. It takes a lot of trust and a little vulnerability to get there. In fact, people are more likely to get, ahem, physically naked before getting financially naked.

Once you two break the ice on a money topic that feels less awkward to talk about—like values, goals, or habits—it can be easier to bring up money again. But, when exactly should that be?

It’s nice to think that it will come up naturally from now on, but even couples who are well-versed in money talks will tell you that it won’t—life is too busy. It’s important for couples to find a way to keep money talk on tap, at least once a month.

#Why are money check-ins important to talk about with your partner?

Money is a topic that couples shouldn’t stop talking about. Yet scheduling monthly money check-ins can sound like a daunting concept. That’s why we challenge Monarch couples to turn them into special occasions of sorts. to celebrate your teamwork. Something to look forward to celebrate your teamwork, like Finances & Fries, Cash & Coffee, or Monarch & Margs—a money date.

• Create positive associations with your larger efforts to collaborate on finances. Trust us: this isn’t an attempt at forced fun. But because talking about money needs to happen for couples to get on the same page and stay there, why not make it a good time? Don’t get started until the order from your favorite Thai place has been delivered. Make an opulent brunch at home where you can talk numbers over pancakes. Or reward yourselves with your favorite dessert after your date.
• They’re an approachable and rewarding ritual that can help you two get more and more comfortable about sharing details about money. When you and your partner can turn the task of reviewing your finances into an occasion to mark your collaboration, you two get to set the tone (and the mood, and the vibe) to make you feel as comfortable as possible—and maybe even look forward to them.

#What if my partner has different ideas about money check-ins than me?

Whatever your differences may be, don’t let them keep you from establishing some kind of regular check-in. They can look like anything. They can take place at home or out somewhere. They can last a half hour or a couple of hours. They can focus on one financial topic or cover several.

#How can you start talking about money check-ins with your partner?

Try these if you’re ready to start talking goals:

• One fun way we could celebrate after a money check-in is …
• The vibe I’d pick for a date where we talked about our financial life is …
• The least stressful time of the month to get together and talk about money is …
• The snack I’d bring to our money check-in is …

Try these if you want to get a little deeper:

• If we plan for regular money check-ins, I’d want to make sure they ..
• If we kept money check-ins short and sweet, I’d want to focus on …
• The reason it matters to me that we regularly make time for money check-ins is …

#Top ways to prep for a money check-in with Monarch

1. Review your transactions since your last date and make sure they are categorized correctly so you’re working with good information. You can also add notes or tags to each transaction if you want to have more info to share with your partner!
2. Set up and save some favorite reports in the Monarch Reports section that you and your partner both like to look at, such as a report on your core values tags, and make sure they’re up to date and ready to go
3. Review your progress on your goals and think about if and how your goal priorities have changed since the last time you talked about money